Recently one of my friends told me that he was interested in someone that I was relatively better acquainted with, and I thought that I could help him out and do some recon for him. I only had the best of intentions and I setup activities so that all of us could hang out and he could get the chance to spend more time with her and get to know her. On one of the day they set something up and I was under the impression that it was a friendly get together and I was invited. Unfortunately I was not, so when I went over they were kind and let me spend time with them. At the end of the night I thought we were all cool and everything was very peachy and I was extra happy because I thought I helped my friend out.
I am worthless as a friend and I feel like my friends would be better off if I didn't try to help them. On the walk home my friend let me know that I was no help and he found me to be quite bother some and an idiot. I guess people like me should never think that they can help anyone in anyway, my best intentions will only be bothersome to them. My relationship with my friend has took a weird turn and it seems like I ruined my precious friendship with him.
I really wish that I could just help my friend even if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore I want to thank him for his great friendship and help he has given me. I wish that I could take what I did back, but someone like me should never be so arrogant to think that I could be of some help to these great friends that I have.
Perhaps not being their friend is the only way that I can help them in anyway.
I hate myself so much for thinking I could help.
I hate people who are capable of helping, but choose not to.
I despise myself.